10 Reasons to Buy a Book

So as I sat staring at my blinking little cursor it suddenly dawned on me that with the advent of ebooks there were some very compelling reasons to purchase physical books.  Of course, mind you, this is not that list.  Instead…this is my list…

1. Weightlifting – stack the whole Left Behind series (what, like 12 books?) or hardcopies of Twilight on your weight bar and go to town.  Or, keep a copy of War & Peace on your desk or nightstand for some light curls.
2. You might learn something.  Books are full of knowledge.  Yes, the “k” is silent and if you read more often you would know (there it is again….spooky) what that means.
3. Chicks dig smart guys.  Not the professor type with the patches on their sweaters because that just looks pretentious.  But the guy eating lunch perusing a worn copy of Catcher in the Rye or the guy at the coffee shop drilling through an espresso and the Art of War.
4. Reading – its fundamental.  Or as I like to say…Fun for Mentals.  Remember Reading Rainbow with Levar Burton (Geordi La Forge)?  Geordi La Forge telling you to bust a spine on a book.  Yea, that was sweet.
5. It makes you look smart.  Go on…check your back stock of photos or magazine articles and find a picture of someone reading a book.  Heck.  Find a picture of someone carrying a book and you will STILL think that person was smart.  (Come ta think of it…carrying a book could boost your cardio…See #1)
6. All purpose hammering tool.  Make sure it’s a hardcover and not one you are particularly fond of and hammer away.  You can also use it to smash things such as spiders.  If you like spiders you can smash bugs.  If for some weird reason you are an Entomologist then use it to smash lawyers.  (Oh come on…you had to know that one was coming)
7. Prop up a table.  Depending on the size and/or shape you can use it to do some serious propping of short table legs.  Also, if you refer to Reason #2 you might find a book that can show you how to fix the leg properly…but hey, we are getting way ahead of ourselves here.
8. Batteries never run out.
9. Regifting after reading makes you look like a compassionate and caring person.  Who doesn’t look caring when handing over their used copy of The Giver.  Books are designed to be read and passed on….ummm Library? Hello.  Otherwise you look like that crazy hoarder person with stacks and stacks of books and a missing cat named Clarence.  Clarence? Hello…
10. Books are Fat Free.  That’s right.  FAT FREE.  Go on..consume as many as you want.  You will never gain weight.  Heck, consume several after 9 p.m.  No weight gain.  Nothing.  And if that’s not enough for you they are Gluten Free and Sugar Free.

Get you SOME!
–E-